I decided to turn this personal blog into something bigger–talking about something other than myself, and other than ranting and more than a means of emotional release.
I was troubled by many social issues. I read about them through various sources everyday. I keep track on those troubling issues. And yet look around, there are not so many with me.
For a long time I took a view of pursuing my own path, and I try not to be bothered by the fact that other people don’t care, since what you think is important may not even be an item on the bottom of their list. I am not a paternalistic person and not intellectually and practically experienced to teach others a lesson. I thus resist the temptation of telling people what is important.
But I cannot stay silent any more. Especially when all the efforts to covertly insert one piece of my mind to others’ during some conversation turned out in vain. It is difficult to make a small change, let alone change others’ minds. But this doesn’t mean it is not possible at all.
I am a feminist. And I am not so sure about it until recently.
I had delivered some lecturers on feminism as a debate trainer. I have written a few articles on feminism. I have debated on the topic feminism quite often. And yet I was still not sure.
Until I had a dinner with some classmates and a young lecturer who has decided to devote herself into public interest legal field, and who has been involved with refugee and IDP work for a long time. She and I shared many opinions on feminism, but we apparently adopted different approaches. When we were talking, others were listening. They are all girls, and they listened closely–with rather confusing look. Some of them tried to jump into the conversation or asked questions–but finally chose to just listen. They rarely heard of radical and moderate approaches. They have never encountered the phrase “confidence gap”. They don’t know why the lecturer dressed not like a lesbian but addressed herself as a feminist. They were afraid of offending the two of us by saying something negative. The biggest problem is–they cannot make sense of what feminism means–their limited positive understanding of feminism is simply–to do whatever it takes to achieve the equality of women and men.
I have a female friend who thinks her female friend is a feminist. And yet the latter one is no more than a girl appears more professional and knows how to run politics in school. The former one is a housewife-type girl– her ideal life is to have a loving husband and most of her everyday ranting and talk is about relationship and clothes. Neither of them has ever been exposed to or actively seek to get in touch with feminist article or theory.
Clothes, brands, shoes, makeup, handbags, weight, diet. When you put those words juxtapose to each other, the natural response would very likely to be: we are talking about girls.
So I was a cynical person. But I didn’t entirely lose hope in making a change. I sadly and reluctantly admit that the feminist images have been greatly misunderstood, distorted, sabotaged and…detested.
Celebrities are not helpful at all in disseminating right images of feminists.
Theoretical framework is too impenetrable for ordinary persons.
Stereotypes on feminists are too embedded to uproot.
Social perceptions on feminism is too narrowly and negatively constructed.
And worst of all…
People don’t think this is an important agenda.
I talked to some of my male friends about it. They gave me similar responses: why you are so obsessed with feminism? Why you always talk about women’s right? So…feminist, seriously?
I looked at those taunting faces and listened to comments with the sarcastic tones quietly. I didn’t want to appear intolerable against what they say (even if they were intolerable) just to consolidate their stereotypes.
I could have used an F word to express my rage and shut them up.
But I chose to explain the other F word.
The one that is far more powerful.